


Consequences

by covacola



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blow Jobs, Car Accidents, Car Sex, Drunk Driving, Family Dynamics, Gen, Guilt, Guilty Pleasures, Injury Recovery, Intoxication, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recovery, Secrets, Street Racing, Survivor Guilt, accidental murder, chosen family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:42:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22910428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covacola/pseuds/covacola
Summary: Eiichi's hobby is listed as street racing. That's a nice way to put it. The media has had quite the job of digging around for dirt on his little escapades. HEAVENS has brushed it off so far, assuming it to be a thing of the past. But it isn't.After drinking too much, Eiichi gets into a carwreck. There really aren't ever any "good" carwrecks, but the stunned manager can only numbly inform them that it was, in short, a bad one. And now, like it or not, Eiichi cannot protect his precious group mates from the consequences.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Eiichi | Accident

**Author's Note:**

> Not super graphic depictions of sex, but fairly descriptive instances of sexual themes.

Okay, so _officially_ his hobbies weren't _outright_ _illegal._

_But._

Growling low and quiet in the back of his throat, too quiet to be heard over the thump and brass if the electro swing that had the deeply stained wooden facade walls vibrating. He had a little bit of a headache, but it wasn't all together too irritating. He leaned against the bar, rubbing his forehead as another man sneered at him from across the room, sitting in a booth Eiichi knew from experience was just a little too hard for his liking.

As if on cue-- perhaps it was the abrupt end of the song that'd been throbbing through his temples-- they both stood, he standing up straight, the other rising in a smooth but swift motion, grabbing and downing the last double shot he'd had in front of him. Eiichi's tab hadn't been any shorter. He sighed, knocking his own back, and turned toward the door. The whole room slowed for a moment, all eyes on him. 

He felt his skin crawl with fire and disgust as he could almost _feel_ the other man's expression burn into his back. That ghastly sneer. Those piercing eyes, so hateful. Honestly, Eiichi felt he hadn't done enough wrong. But that's how these types were. Petty and easy to anger. But their battle wasn't duked out with their fists, at least not coming into contact with each other's faces. Less blood, and far more leather and rubber. Stitched seats and squealing tires. 

* * *

He must've blanked out, because the next thing he knew, buildings were flashing past. Wind blew through his hair, windows rolled down, ripping the roaring laughter beside him from the vehicle. There was a hand on his thigh. This woman wasn't the only one who liked a little _danger_. 

He blew past lights, horns blared after them, dodging traffic with an almost unconscious, instinctual ease. He'd been long time friends with the guys who'd built him this baby, but at the moment names-- both of his friends and the car's make and model-- escaped him, but it didn't matter. The car seemed to _purr_ in his ear, the vibrations of the seat rubbing him _just right_ He was vaguely aware of the button of his trousers being popped. His nipples were hard. 

Nothing else could make him feel like this. He wouldn't _let_ anything else feel like this. Erotic without the intimacy, dangerous without putting someone he actually cared about in danger. Hiding, bravado, this specific addictive _rush._ It was easy, almost mindless. It _was_ mindless, heedless. Dangerous and stupid and wildly sexy in a way he wouldn't be around HEAVENS or angels.

He let out a low groan at the heavy friction against caked on lipstick. _This_. He was too distant with himself to feel shame, even as he exaggerated his pleasure. It was _nothing_ to the vibrating below him. 

* * *

He'd drunk too much. That was his one thought.

He didn't have time to register fear, to pull the woman's head up, let alone to get her back in a safer position in the passenger seat. He would have if he'd been just a bit more present. 

For once in his life, he didn't even have a thought for HEAVENS. 

Just that one, sluggish thought. 

_I drank too much tonight._

He felt the back tire slip, felt himself lose control. He was no stranger to that latter, but he'd never, ever get used to it, like it, feel anything but gut wrenching fear of it. 

He heard the crash, saw the windshield shatter and the back windows, still closed, shatter through the rear view before the mirror itself was wrenched out of place. He was too slow to even tense for the impact. Over the wrenching of metal, the cracking of concrete, he heard a choked gasp, a stifled scream. 

Then,

nothing. 


	2. Kira | Wrong

Kira rubbed his eyes, trying in vain to alleviate the burning that was causing his eyes to water. He sighed, glancing at the clock on his laptop. It was getting late, even for Eiichi. But he'd hinted he may not even be back tonight. Still, it seemed rather unlike him to not even message any of them that he definitely wasn't coming back, even if it was only half readable. 

And Kira knew Eiichi hadn't messaged.

Eiji sat across the common room, likewise exhausted and anxious, though much less intent on masking his worry. He shifted, sighed as well, then glanced up. "I don't think he's coming back tonight," Eiji said. 

"No... probably not," Kira replied in his slow, deliberate way. His hesitance this night wasn't just a form of tactfulness, however. He'd suspected something, and with his stomach sinking, he almost said something, but... No. Eiichi... Whatever he-- and the others, eventually-- had found out about their leader... It was behind him.

His shoulders relaxed, thinking of Eiichi's fearless, if almost manic, smile. They'd all probably get an apology text at some ungodly hour. It was only a matter of time. "Come, Eiji," he said, setting aside his script-- he'd grab it later that morning-- and standing. 

Eiji made a face. "I'll just be a little--" 

Kira had paced calmly to his side, then closed his laptop. Eiji didn't protest. The younger rubbed his eyes. "I'm just worried," Eiji admitted. "I've...got this bad feeling..." He trailed off, looking miserable. 

"Eiichi... is fine," Kira assured, voice soft, soothing as he rubbed between Eiji's shoulder blades. The younger man's eyes drooped in response. He _was_ tired. He made a note to _not_ tell Eiichi. Not unless he _really_ needed a proper scolding. Eiichi would beat himself up for the rest of the week if he knew he'd caused any of them to lose sleep. 

Luckily, Kira noted, guiding a half asleep Eiji from the common room to the dorms, it seemed the rest of HEAVENS was likely knocked out. Leader included. 

He couldn't have known. 

* * *

Kira had woken up at his usual time, and from experience had known it'd be impossible to go back to sleep. And so he was up before the rest of them. There were a dozen perfectly reasonable places to get food. The cafe on the third floor, either of the two restaurants on the first, even some specialized vending machines in between and on the streets. But this living space had been designed to accommodate, per Eiichi's request. 

The pan sizzled as Kira worked, making enough for all of them and a little more. He'd pack it away for Eiichi to scarf down later when he met them at their first appointment of the day, an early workout to keep them all in shape. But he still couldn't help but worry.

"You hear anything from him?" The voice didn't give Kira a start, but he had been surprised by it. Van leaned over the counter, inhaling appreciatively. Kira didn't have to ask who he was talking about. "Not even sure any of my texts were delivered." He'd sounded casual, mock exasperated. Kira hadn't gotten any messages back, his own inquiries likewise seemingly not going through. Van scrutinized him a moment, then glanced away, adding softly, "I'm a little on edge, too." 

Kira's chest tightened, and the barest hint of a miserable frown creased his brow. He was thankful, on the one hand. Van, like all the others, had gotten used to reading, filling in, and responding to his silence. He felt more at ease talking among them than many others, but all the same he suppressed a rising panic. He was overreacting. Eiichi would give them some reasoning when he saw them. 

Kira made the mistake of glancing up from his cooking. Van was staring at him. His expression told him that he knew what Kira was thinking, and his small smile was quietly reassuring. Van was similarly considerate as everyone else came down, one at a time, each fussing in their own way. They looked out for each other. Took care of each other. That was simply HEAVENS. 

* * *

It was about ten minutes into their physical training session that the news was broken to them. They'd all, save of course Yamato, had dallied on starting without their leader. Kira didn't recognize the man, but Raging had sent him to inform them that Eiichi would, inexplicably, be absent for the day. 

The stranger unsettled Kira. One of their usual aquatinted managers or senpai would have been able to give at least some information, even if it was just in a flustered, apologetic look. At least that would have told him that Eiichi had been too hung over to function, but at least assure them he was safe. This subtle secrecy... It made the tight feeling in his chest deepen. And when the man refused to at least bring the container of food to Eiichi for them, Kira knew. Not consciously, not quite. But in the back of his mind something clicked. Something was very wrong. 


	3. Nagi | Six

Three days. They hadn't heard from or of Eiichi in _three. whole. days._

Nagi tossed and turned in his bed, not at all comforted by the excessive load of plush pillows and soft blankets. He hugged one close to his chest, sighing with frustration. He forced his eyes closed, swallowing back the panic, the fear. But they disobediently sprang open again. He turned over to the other side, restless. 

He stared out his window, out at the dark sky, the glowing haze of the city blocking out any possibility of stars. He couldn't even see the moon or anything. Just darkness and glowing haze. He felt consciously annoyed at it, and his irritation grew as he realized his mind was circling pointless things. He rolled back onto his back, spread eagle with the pillow on top of him.

_Where is he?_

As if to answer, a small knock came at the door. 

For a brief, infinitesimal moment, he knew. Eiichi would open the door quietly, as not to disturb him if he'd already been sleeping. Would see him up, restless, would chuckle and apologize and not be mad when Nagi yelled in startlement and threw a pillow at him. He'd catch it, still smiling, and sit on Nagi's bed and ruffle his hair as everyone came rushing in, angry at him for being radio silent even as they were relieved to see him. 

He almost felt guilty at his disappointment when Shion opened the door timidly. The older boy eyed him, eyes wide and questioning, then looked down anxiously. Nagi hummed assent, and Shion slipped in, not closing the door behind him as he slipped under the covers. Nagi didn't protest as he was hugged, not unlike the pillow he had been holding a minute ago. He didn't even protest at the door being left open. Neither would likely sleep much, if at all, anyway. 

But sleep they did, exhaustion getting the better of their comforting company. 

* * *

Everyone pretended that morning. _The fourth morning_ , Nagi thought. They had pretended even on that first day, he thought. Pretended things had been fine. Van joked lightly, but his heart wasn't in it. Kira busied himself, as always. Yamato fidgeted as he ate, probably wishing he could do something, _anything_ more to clear the air. Shion looked miserable. Eiji, only yesterday keeping up empty, pretend conversation with Van, now sat quietly, eyes downcast. 

Nagi was still eyeing him with Eiji's head snapped up, and he recoiled at the blaze in his eyes, even before Eiji yelled. "This is fucking stupid!" Nagi shrunk back further, and Van tried to simultaneously quell Eiji's upset fury while comforting Shion, who'd instinctually curled up at the sudden noise. 

Eiji hopped up from the bar stool, not even wincing as the metal smacked against his leg, but did hobble the first step as he spun. Beyond that, he was all but a blur toward the door. "Eiji!" Kira and Yamato called after, but too late. Yamato swore, Nagi himself moving without thought. They ran after him. 

Nagi, surprisingly was first, but subconsciously he assumed that Yamato was probably telling the other three to simply wait while they caught up with the younger Otori. Yamato caught up to him quickly and didn't slow. He was athletic, but he also simply had longer legs. Eiji, however, had uncharacteristically barreled through all obstacles between him and his quarry. 

Nagi followed, now at a full blown sprint. He was about to give in to the stitch in his chest when Eiji abruptly stopped. Nagi was caught by Yamato's suddenly flung out arm, only then realizing where they were. He felt his eyes momentarily widen, looking up to see Yamato's own stony expression. Raging's office. They'd all made a point to avoid him since he'd locked them all up on a rooftop. 

Eiji didn't even bother knocking. Their thundering footfalls, Nagi thought, would probably have been warning enough. Eiji stormed in, leaving the door open. Yamato reflexively pushed Nagi behind him, his view into the office now almost completely blocked between Yamato and Eiji. "Where is he?!" Eiji yelled. Nagi felt himself shrink back, he'd never seen Eiji _this_ fierce. 

But after Eiji's loud voice came only silence. Well, silence aside from their combined heaving breathing. Nagi hadn't realized his ears had been straining until a sigh disturbed the quiet. "Close the door," Raging said, voice modulated, revealing a disturbing amount of nothing. No games, no taunting. Just... A flat tone. Nagi glanced up again and saw the color drain from Yamato's face. 

Not thinking twice, he grabbed Yamato's hand and pulled him inside, closing the door-- almost slamming it, last second regaining some semblance of composure and shutting it softly. Yamato seemed dazed, and Nagi looked up at Raging, immediately knowing why. Raging Otori looked... Tired. Deflated, somehow. Like the manic energy had been sucked from him like a black hole sucks up light. 

Eiji looked like a deer in headlights, anger forgotten for this brief moment. But then she shook himself out of it, eyes hardening again. "Where is he? What happened to--" 

"I will only say this once," Raging said, that same flat, masked tone. He had on his dark glasses, but Nagi still caught him eyeing each of them in turn, the usually shielded expression lost to tension that he belatedly connected to his stony tone. Nagi couldn't help but look away as those shaded eyes fell on him. "I will not repeat myself, and you will not protest." Nagi felt for him as Eiji swelled with preemptive indignation, but Raging put up a hand. "Nagi, go collect the others. Make sure they're _civil_ when they get here," he sharply eyed the other two, both faces reddening with anger, "I will make certain of that in them. Go." 

He didn't even look back at Nagi. He didn't break eye contact with who he was now staring intently at, Yamato. Nagi deliberated a moment, then slipped back out. He made a brave attempt at being nonchalant, but as he turned the corner, he was already sprinting again. 

* * *

He was out of breath again when he threw the door open. All three of the others rose in unison, Van speaking up for them. "Is everything alright? Where's Eij?" 

"Raging," Nagi panted, seeing stars. "He-- he wants us-- us in-- office--" his knees suddenly gave out. He took a moment, not noticing Kira and Shion rush to his sides. They tried to help him up, but-- he still-- he _couldn't_. 

"Nagi." Kira's deep, cool voice reverberated around his skull for a moment, then he opened his eyes. "Breathe," he instructed, voice soothingly sturdy. He nodded, but stopped quickly. Shion hugged him, and for once Nagi let himself relax into it completely. He opened his eyes again to see a miserable expression on Shion's face, and suddenly he wished he'd been stronger. 

"Try again," Van said, offering him a steadying hand. 

Nagi took it, taking another deep breath. "Raging," he faltered. His chest closed up, and words-- he couldn't get the words out. His voice wavered. "He wants to tell us all something," he forced his breathing to even out, then forced out, "he said we have to be calm or whatever when we go back." His attempt at his usual petulance helped. "Eiji asked him about Eiichi, but," he gulped, suddenly realizing what was wrong. Still too dazed to force them back, Nagi explained through tears, "he seemed strange. Quiet. Reserved. I don't know, something-- _something's wrong--"_

Verbalizing It for the first time among them, Nagi finally let his tears fall, feeling guilty as he felt Shion shake, still holding onto him. 

Van moved to them, closing the door as Kira peeled them apart, sweeping Nagi into his arms, Van likewise doing the same with Shion, almost parent like as they moved to one of the sofas. Nagi didn't even see Kira's own terrified expression, nor Van's look of helplessness. 

* * *

They were all, as commanded, _civil_ as they stood before an uncharacteristically solemn Raging, who still sat at his desk. Nagi wondered how long he could last. He was exhausted. At least Raging hadn't seemed angry that they'd taken so long to come. 

"HEAVENS," he began, only the barest hint of some unfathomable emotion in his voice. "You must get used to being a six person group." 

Nagi reeled. He only peripherally saw he wasn't the only one. 

"What--" Eiji asked weakly. 

"Go." 

They all stared, dazed. 

Raging merely reached for a small stack of papers, giving the topmost his full attention. 

He didn't explain further. 

Eiji seemed on the cusp of regaining himself, his _rage,_ but, of all of them, Shion stopped him. 

Shion took Eiji's forearm, eyes downcast, and pulled Eiji toward the door. He opened it, then the two slipped out. The rest of them, Nagi included, followed numbly. 

Just as they got back to their dorm, fully ready to completely call off for the day, despite it being last second, a manager, one Nagi recognized, came jogging up to them, stating that cars were waiting to take them to their various morning commitments. They all looked incredulous. We're they really expected to just continue? Go about the day like it was nothing? 

Then those words crashed over Nagi, less like a wave, more like a pile of bricks. 

_You must get used to being a six person group._

Kira, quick as ever to recover when the rest were thrown off kilter, shuffled them along. At least someone could get into their element. Nagi, for once, didn't have the presence of mind to even half heartedly protest. 


	4. Eiji | Exhaustion

Eiji knew he wasn't paying attention, but he couldn't help it. The entire day was a blur of poor acting and worse information prodding. But by the time he finally got back to the dorms, he was thoroughly burnt out. The first person he saw was Yamato, for once setting aside his relentless work out schedule, seemingly passed out on one of the couches, head back and arm draped over his eyes. Shion was curled up on the same couch, on the opposite side, head resting against the armrest, knees tucked up against his stomach, his arms holding himself in place. 

The sight of them both softened and saddened him. None of them had been sleeping much. He went over, sighing as he sat between them. He raised a hand, but knew better than to touch either of them without warning or permission. He wanted to do _something,_ though. Yamato's arm didn't hide a grimace, and Shion looked miserable in his sleep. None of them had been sleeping well, not since... 

He suddenly felt tears sting his eyes again, his stomach tying itself into knots. _You must get used to being a six person group._ It stung. It churned his guts. What had happened? Why was no one telling them anything? There was no way... What had happened to his brother? 

He refused to even consider the worst. But then, why hadn't his brother said anything to them yet? He didn't think his brother would willingly keep them in the dark like this. Not HEAVENS. Not his precious HEAVENS... His brother wouldn't do anything that would put himself at such risk like this. An accident of some sort, maybe? 

Eiichi seemed so much larger than life, more like a force than a man at times. Eiji found his lip quirking in an almost bitter smile as he realized he didn't honestly think his brother would _allow_ something so mortal as an accident to keep him from HEAVENS. 

He suddenly had to choke back a sob. Something _was_ keeping him, and he knew that their worrying would only drive him crazier. Something was keeping him from them, and it somehow made him feel even more hopeless knowing it was something not even _his brother_ could overcome. He only realized he was shaking when he doubled over, leaning over his knees, hugging himself. 

He couldn't suppress a small yelp when he felt the gentle hand at his back, rubbing soothingly where his spine curved. He looked up and over his shoulder, barely noticing the single tear slip down his cheek, and met Yamato's strained eyes. The taller man nodded, his expression one of empathy. Empathy, and shared helplessness. 

None of them did well with that, with _helplessness_. And yet it was somehow worse seeing that expression on Yamato's eyes. Like his brother, it was hard imagining a situation in which Yamato, strong and determined Yamato, could be _helpless_. And yet, here they were, in this impossible, terrible situation. He felt his throat begin to close up. 

Eiji sighed shakily, trying to get his bearings. He wasn't his brother, but he wouldn't let HEAVENS fall apart in his absence. He could lead, for now. _For now._

He stood, just as wobbly, and felt his resolve slip like silk ribbons through his finger tips, more solid than water, but still so difficult to hold. He turned, putting on his bravest face. It wasn't very good. "Come on," he said, moving to place a gentle hand on Shion's shoulder. 

Shion awoke with a start, eyes wide, the briefest flash of repressed fear on his face. It broke Eiji's heart. He turned as Yamato got up, noting just how _exhausted_ he looked, the way his shoulders slumped, the familiar shadows under his eyes. Still, he didn't complain as he stepped forward, a simple hum of a question. Shion blearily hummed back assent, and Yamato scooped him up as easily as a newborn baby. 

Shion muttered something, and Eiji picked up Nagi's name through the muffled syllables. Yamato softened, murmuring back, "you can stay with me for now." 

"You sure?" Shion seemed a bit surprised. 

Yamato only nodded, and Eiji added, "or me, if you want." He smiled reassuringly at Shion, who was waking up enough to be the slightest but embarrassed. 

Still, after a moment of consideration, he spoke quietly. "Can... Can we all..."

Eiji smiled, weary, but genuinely. "Of course." 

Shion was already dead asleep by the time they made it to Eiji's room, per his suggestion. Still, Yamato kept his promise, staying, and even delicately smoothing the hair back from Shion's eyes. Eiji wasn't surprised, but it still warmed his heart to see Yamato so soft. He tried to push the thought away as it formed, but couldn't help wishing his brother could have seen it. It would have made him smile. 

Eiji only sat on the edge of the bed for a while, but eventually he caught Yamato eyeing him worriedly and so laid down properly. He knocked out just as quickly as Shion had. 


	5. Van | Long Day

Van wasn’t an amateur at these sorts of guessing games. Games of presumption, of double meanings and double edged swords. Yet as the manager walked away, Van had to admit to himself that he might be in over his head. 

Ten days. A little over a week and still no word on or from Eiichi. He felt his palms grow sweaty as the anxiety tried to grip him again, but no. He wouldn’t let it, couldn’t. He was glad he met no one as he failed to suppress his nerves, his  _ anger _ as he all but stalked into Raging Agency. He walked through one of the more low key side entrances, his momentum fueled by his overflowing feelings-- the worry, the confusion, the stomach dropping  _ helplessness _ . But as he hit the elevator button, he forced himself to relax. He wasn’t sure if anyone would be there when the door opened, and the last thing he wanted was to worry anyone else with  _ his _ feelings. 

Nevermind they were  _ all _ feeling this way. 

He hadn’t realized his weary eyes had fallen closed until the bell dinged and they snapped open. For a moment, he held his breath. Someone stepped out of the elevator. 

“Ah, Van. Working late again?” Van was a bit thrown to see him. A composer for some other group under the Raging banner. Hajime was his name. 

And, Van realized, he was also supposedly good friends with Onozawa, the manager that had told them on that first day... He’d found the name out later, but that was beside the point now. 

All of this within a split second, just enough time for Van to get his bearings and get back into swing. “Always,” he laughed, then raised an eyebrow, “you too, hm? You’re not going out at this late hour are you?” 

Hajime waved the comment off, “not too late to have some fun.” His eyes suddenly seemed to glitter. “Hey, you’ve seemed outta sorts lately, I’m going out drinking with--”  _ Out of sorts. _ Had he not been an  _ actor _ , Van might have sneer, or scoffed. Hell with how taught his nerves were he might have  _ hit _ the man. But he was being invited to go drinking with some others in the agency, members of some other group, some cute lyricist Hajime seemed interested in, and, of course, Onozawa. 

Van gave a tired beam, “yeah! I’m in,” he rubbed the back of his neck for emphasis, “could definitely use a break.” 

Hajime suddenly seemed to grasp something. He tensed slightly, then narrowed his eyes, smile turning stony. Van kept up the act, not avoiding his eyes, but not meeting them either. It worked. Hajime laughed, adding in a much more faux-lax than genuine “I bet,” as they headed out. 

* * *

Several rounds in and Van was finding it harder and harder to be civil. He’d barely gotten two words in with Onozawa before this lyricist had entirely foregone Hajime’s company for his own. Guess the old charm had to backfire sometimes, he supposed, but of all nights... 

The thought crept up on him as he turned away from the lyricist yet again to try to talk to the others.  _ I drank too much tonight. _ He couldn’t quite shake her off, a red flag popping up, less like a warning and more like bloodstain blossoming on a favorite white button up. It was only as he turned back to her, arms around his, red faced and slurring, that an idea began to form. Maybe...

* * *

The next day he was thoroughly in a bad mood. Such a bad mood, in fact, that he didn’t even hide it from the other HEAVENS members for once. In fact, they were no small part to why he was in a bad mood. It really wasn’t their fault, he knew and yet... 

He’d been so close. He’d gotten so close to the lyricist, pulled Hajime and even Onozawa in... and then he’d gotten an urgent call from Kira. Sure it’d be news, he’d excused himself and taken it, only to be yelled at that he hadn’t come back yet, hadn’t answered any of their messages, and left them in the dark. All of which he had, but it wasn’t like this had been the first time. How many times had he slipped out to do exactly this? Drinking with friends, flirting and occasionally sleeping around? Honestly, of all the damn times. 

By the time he’d assured Kira he was alright, assured them he’d be back that night, late as it was, Hajime and the damn lyricist had taken off, Onozawa having left at the same time. He’d tried to catch up, but hadn’t been successful. He’d ended up having to call Kira back and ask them to send a driver to come pick him up. It’d taken a bit over half an hour, time Van had spent done with pretences and just slamming drinks back. 

He was thoroughly hung over, and still thoroughly annoyed that all posturing hadn’t worked. But he was  _ most _ annoyed at the tirade he’d received over breakfast. Of all of them,  _ all of them _ , it was actually Yamato who’d gotten it through his throbbing skull. “We were worried, you ass! We thought something might have happened to you, too--” 

He’d stopped then. They’d all stopped then. They’d stopped saying his name, but Van knew. He wasn’t that out of it. He wondered if he could be. He lowered his head, guilt and shame flushing his face. “I’m sorry,” was all he could mutter. 

He thought, as his head continued to pound and light continued to be too bright, that it was gonna be  _ another _ long day... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. Shout out to Sunish for the comment, it really did help me get over this writers block :') Also shout out to Hannah for letting me vent via dms and organize my thoughts on where i was gonna go with this and some future chapters <3


	6. Yamato | Call

_ Two weeks. Still, nothing. _

Van had taken it upon himself to get close to some other people in the company, and they all knew he wasn’t stupid, but then again, neither had  _ he _ been. It was like a curse, a word to be censored,  _ his  _ name. For himself, Yamato didn’t really think there was a point. That manager, the other guy, the bitchy lyricist--  _ clearly _ none of them knew shit. 

But he also understood. It was  _ something _ for Van to do. And at this point? That was more than Yamato could say for any of them. 

Two weeks, and they were all visibly starting to lose their minds. 

Nagi had also tried dipping his toes into networking, but he was hitting his head against the same walls Van was. The reality was,  _ no one _ seemed to know anything. Even he and Kira had started reconnecting with outside contacts, desperate to see if anyone had heard  _ anything _ . 

They’d all agreed to not bring things up to anyone from Shining, not wanting them to worry like they were. It was bad enough the six of them were losing it. 

But Kira was out of ideas on who to contact who wouldn’t blab to any of the others from his previous circles, and Yamato was right about there too. Soft finally, Yamato had conceded. 

* * *

His phone rang, the tightness in his chest for once deeper than what had become his new norm. He didn’t worry that his call would be rejected. At worst, he’d get a call back later.  _ (Just not the call back he wanted.)  _ But the conversation  _ would _ be had. 

He got lucky, called at the right time or something. Still, he felt his jaw clench at the voice on the other end. “Yamato?” Ryuuya asked, “this is quite a surprise. Is everything al--” 

“No. I--” he hadn’t meant to be so harsh. It hadn’t even been his resentment, as that had begun to lessen since his work with Kurusu. But he hadn’t anticipated this opening of the floodgates.  _ Someone _ was going to listen, might even help answer his questions. They--  _ he _ \-- was talking to someone  _ outside _ the company for the first time since this all started. 

He trailed off, voice breaking as he fought the dizzying wave of emotion. “Yamato? Yamato?!” Across the line, Ryuuya sounded frantic. 

“Something happened,” he forced out, “something-- happened to-- to Eiichi--”  _ Why was this so hard? _

_ Because, _ he knew.  _ Because everyone else has verbalized it at this point. Everyone else has said it for themselves. Everyone but you. _

“We can’t get anything out of anyone, and--  _ and--”  _

_ Shit. _

_ He hated asking for help.  _

**_Especially_** _from Ryuuya._

“I’ll do what I can,” his brother, his older brother, promised. 

Yamato sank to the floor, face distorted from his feelings. 

_ “Thank you...” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Promise_ longer chapters are coming hdfjhdklhwb


	7. Shion | Ill

Three weeks.

Shion rose sluggishly from bed. He hadn't slept well. At least he had been able to fall asleep at all. The past few nights, he hadn't even managed that. But anxiety had made way for insomnia. He had been told he'd be seeing someone later in the day, probably to get him a prescription for sleep aids. But he didn't want that. He just wanted the nightmares to stop. Wanted _ this _ nightmare to stop.

He had slept last night. A few precious hours in total. All of them plagued with nightmares. As he sluggishly went through the motions, he realized that whoever had come in to comfort him last night must have already left. Had it been Nagi? Kira? Or maybe it had been Eiji or Van. Yamato? No, no. That had been last week... After...

He felt his lip tremble. Yamato had come home, looking like a wreck. They had all been scared then. But he explained he'd finally asked his brother for help. They understood. Yamato had stayed with him that night as well. He didn't quite get it. He would have thought that night especially Yamato would have wanted to be alone. But he'd been glad all the same.

He made his way out of his room. He wasn't late yet, but he was still moving slower than usual. But by the time he reached the stairs, he felt exhausted. He stopped for a moment, just breathing, trying to wake himself up. There was a ringing in his ears, and his head hadn't stopped hurting for a few days now. The ringing, the throbbing, it got more and more painful until-- 

"--ion!" He opened his eyes. There was a firm hand on his arm. He looked up, his eyes having a difficult time of focusing. He knew he recognized the silhouette, but that was all. He collapsed. 

* * *

He awoke in his own bed, thankfully. Eiji at his side. He opened his mouth to ask what had happened, but his mouth was so dry. He only coughed.

"Oh!" Eiji seemed not to have noticed at first that Shion was awake. But he quickly grabbed a cup and helped Shion drink.

"Thank you," Shion murmured. 

Eiji only nodded, then his eyes slipped out of focus again, expression falling. 

After a few moments, full lucidity returned. Shion noticed that the lights in the room had been kept off, curtains closed, but it was darker than it should have been. "What time is it?" He asked softly.

Eiji seemed to return, fully return this time. He hesitated. "It's about one," he said. 

Shion blinked. "In the morning?" He asked, a bit shocked. Eiji only nodded again, even more slowly this time. 

Shion felt a stab of guilt. Despite everything, out of everyone, he was the first to have taken ill.

"Hey now," Eiji said, voice calming, "don't do that." Shion only hummed inquisitively, so Eiji continued, "you have that little crease between your eyes." He ran a finger over the line in question. And then, Eiji smiled. It was weary, still worried, but nonetheless genuine. Shion felt even more guilty. The sight should have made him cry, but... They were all so exhausted. So dried up. 

Immediately, Shion felt like there was a blanket smothering him. He laid back, trying to slow his breathing. Eiji seemed to want to say more, but opted to let the silence stretch. Without needing to say anything, Eiji crawled into bed. Not touching, not too close, but close enough. Without meaning to, he matched Eiji’s slow breaths. Reluctantly, he let himself drift back asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh i have no excuse this had already been written i just forgot to update, sorry.


	8. The Hospital, Pt. 1

Eiichi lay quietly in the hospital bed. His heartbeat was steady, the morphine doing its work to keep the pain at bay. His breathing was even, if just a bit shallow. And his eyes were open. Glazed, not really seeing what was in front of him. 

Raging growled in annoyance. Couldn't this useless son of his just get it together already-- but, no. Patience. He had to be more patient. He sighed, the sound still carrying a distinctly disgruntled note.

Eiichi reacted to the little thing, tensing. But for a moment, just a moment, his eyes were lucid. They stared, wide at his father. He seemed to recognize him for a moment, seemed to comprehend... everything for a moment.

And then it faded back. 

Raging was suddenly standing from the chair by Eiichi's bed, and before he knew what he was doing, his hand slammed down on the railing of the bed. "You--" he stopped himself from yelling outright. 

Exhausted, Raging slumped back into his chair. This time, Eiichi hadn't reacted at all. 

He stared at his son, his oldest son, for a few minutes. In a commanding, though modulated voice, he said, "I have removed you from HEAVENS." No response. "Everything has been... Settled." No response. "The girl will not speak of this, nor will her family." A twitch. The quickest flash of a half sneer, half grimace. Raging's eyes hardened. "Who told you. The doctors were forbid--"

"I remember enough," Eiichi replied. His voice was hoarse, quiet. Strained by more than lack of usage. "I know the... The crash...." His eyes drifted again, but he seemed to pull himself back, "I know it was bad enough..." 

Raging only nodded. Then, his eyes softened just a tad. "I have removed you temporarily from HEAVENS," he began, "it has become common knowledge that something has happened to you. Officially, we've released that you had fallen ill--" another half sneer from this idiot son of his-- "however, you are expected to return to work any day now." 

Eiichi actually did snort at that. "Meaning that it could be tomorrow, or never," he spat. 

"Meaning," Raging said harshly, "that you have the leniency to take time with...this." He took another breath to calm himself. Patience. He was trying to practice patience. "The doctors assure me you will make a full recovery. Things will go back to normal and--"

"Go back to normal?!" Eiichi roared. He made a move, as if to stand, only to remember his legs weren't working. Wouldn't be working for some time yet. He winced, but didn't back down. "How can you expect me," he growled, not unlike Raging's own tone earlier, "to simply 'go back to normal?'"

Raging shrugged, "I believe, once you are back among your precious HEAVENS--" 

"I killed her--"

"Silence."

Eiichi was so stunned by the force of it, that he actually did quiet himself. 

Raging chose his next words carefully, but not quite able to entirely keep the venom from them, "you will not speak of this. Ever. Do you hear me? Not to anyone." Eiichi looked as though he were to protest, so Raging cut him off. "Whether or not you do return to your idol duties," he looked pointedly at Eiichis legs," you will not do anything more to threaten HEAVENS's reputation. Eiichi, the realization hitting him, looked sick. "I have half a mind to keep my word and formally dismiss you from HEAVENS." For a wonder, Eiichi didn't disagree. Troubling. 

Raging sighed again. He opened his mouth to continue, but with another look he realizes Eiichi has sunk back into a stupor, eyes glazed over, slumped in a way that...unsettled him for some reason. 

He sits back, relaxing for the first time since he got to the hospital. He takes a longer look at the idiot boy. His posture, the haunted expression. And, for the first time since he heard Eiichi would physically recover, wondered if he would fully recover. If his mind could-- but, with HEAVENS to look after, surely-- 

But he wasn't sure. Wasn't sure Eiichi would recover from this. By extension, he reflected on HEAVENS themselves. He swore quietly to himself, wondering if HEAVENS would or even could recover from a blow like this. Damn his idiot son. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so anyway, I hate Raging. But YES Eiichi IS in fact alive!!! Woohoo?


End file.
